From Broken to Whole: 5 Steps to Rebuild Your Self-Worth
I lost myself trying to please everyone else—here’s how I found my way back.
Let me be honest with you—there was a time when I felt like I didn’t even recognize myself anymore.
I had spent so long bending, shrinking, and breaking to meet everyone else’s needs and expectations, I didn’t know where I ended and they began. My self-worth? Gone. Dismantled piece by piece every time I ignored my own voice just to keep the peace.
If you’re feeling that right now—like you’ve forgotten how to take up space, like your confidence has been replaced with self-doubt—I want you to know something:
You are not broken. You’re just buried. And your worth is still in there, waiting for you.
Here are five steps that helped me come back home to myself—and I hope they help you too.
Step 1: Grieve What You Thought You Had to Be
This one hurts a little. Because we all carry versions of ourselves that were created for survival—not joy. I had to grieve the version of me that:
Said yes when I wanted to say no.
Smiled when I was actually screaming inside.
Stayed quiet just to be liked.
Before you rebuild, you have to let go. Mourn that people-pleasing version of you. Thank her for getting you this far—and then give her permission to rest.
You are not here to perform. You are here to be whole.
Step 2: Start Talking to Yourself Like Someone You Love
Let’s get real: if someone spoke to your best friend the way your inner voice speaks to you... you’d throw hands.
We can’t heal if we keep bullying ourselves. I had to learn how to be gentle with me. I had to catch the thoughts that said “You’re not enough,” and start replacing them with:
“I’m learning.”
“I’m allowed to take up space.”
“I deserve good things—even when I don’t feel perfect.”
Start with your self-talk. It's the loudest voice in your head.
Step 3: Get Clear on What You Actually Want
When I started healing, I realized I didn’t even know what I wanted—I only knew what everyone else needed from me.
So I made a list. Not a to-do list. A to-be list.
I want to feel safe.
I want to feel seen.
I want to rest without guilt.
I want to build a life that feels soft, even if the world calls it selfish.
Get honest. What does freedom feel like for you? Write it down. Keep it close. Use it to guide your yes and your no.
Step 4: Redefine What “Strong” Looks Like
Here’s the thing: I used to think strength meant doing everything on my own. No crying. No needing. Just pushing through.
But I’ve learned that strength can also look like:
Asking for help.
Taking a break.
Leaving the room.
Saying “I’m not okay.”
True strength doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it whispers, “Not today.”
Give yourself permission to be strong differently.
Step 5: Surround Yourself with Worth-Reflecting People
You can’t rebuild in environments that broke you.
As I started piecing myself back together, I had to take inventory:
Who’s clapping when I grow?
Who gets uncomfortable when I speak my truth?
Who’s only around when I’m playing small?
You need people who remind you of your light when you forget. Who don’t flinch when you set boundaries. Who mirror back your worth until you see it on your own.
Community matters. And if you don’t have that right now—know that this space, Know Your Worth, is here to be part of it.
Healing Isn't Pretty—But It's Worth It
Let me tell you right now: rebuilding your self-worth is messy. It’s not all bubble baths and journaling. Sometimes it’s crying in your car. Sometimes it’s saying no and then shaking because you’re not used to it. Sometimes it’s losing people you thought were your forever.
But every single time you choose you—you come back to life.
If you’re ready to start rebuilding, I created a tool to help:
Download my free Self-Worth Journal Prompts.
It’s filled with real, raw questions that helped me reconnect with the version of me I buried—and she’s powerful.
Let’s Talk About It
Which of these five steps are you working on right now? Or which one feels the hardest?
Share your thoughts in the comments or send me a message. Your healing is your superpower—and I’m cheering you on.
